No this isn't a blog about me. Instead, I'd like to share with you the fact that over the last couple of days, the UK has been HOTTER than Brazil. This is ludicrous, the British do not understand what heat is in this country, that's why we flock in our thousands to the continent and terrorise their bars and clubs every summer. If things carry on like this, we'll all be staying here for our summer holidays. If this happens, violent crime would plummet in countries such as Spain, Germany and Czech Republic. Police and... yes.... maybe even armed forces.. would be out of work, being forced to scrounge a living as coach drivers and time-share agents, leaping on the few unsuspecting tourists that dribble in from other countries.
Please. Think of the foreign police and their families. It's our God-given right as members of the British Empire, our tradition.... to piss off abroad in a drunken rage.
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