Sunday, June 25, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Riding Motorcycles #1 - Don't let go
"Ooooo wave to the crowd, wave to the....CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP......!!!!" Monday, June 19, 2006
Woman beats man with dead dog
A woman accused of pummeling a dog breeder over the head with a dead Chihuahua has been charged with two misdemeanors and reimbursed the money she paid for the puppy.
Lisa Lynn Hopfer, 33, of Wentzville, was charged with trespassing and third-degree assault in the June 7 incident, authorities said.
No listed phone number for Hopfer was available. A man at her home who declined to identify himself told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch Friday that "there's another side to the story," but declined to elaborate.
Hopfer told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy named Chloe, it died.
Authorities said Hopfer went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.
Linda Hulsey, 33, of St. Peters, wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, police said.
Hulsey said she was hit with the dead puppy at least 30 times and went to a hospital for her bruises, but had no serious injuries. She said she was upset that Hopfer had accused her of selling the puppy too young and said the puppy was two days shy of 6 weeks old.
Hulsey said she later returned the $100 that Hopfer had paid for the dog.
Lisa Lynn Hopfer, 33, of Wentzville, was charged with trespassing and third-degree assault in the June 7 incident, authorities said.
No listed phone number for Hopfer was available. A man at her home who declined to identify himself told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch Friday that "there's another side to the story," but declined to elaborate.
Hopfer told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy named Chloe, it died.
Authorities said Hopfer went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.
Linda Hulsey, 33, of St. Peters, wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, police said.
Hulsey said she was hit with the dead puppy at least 30 times and went to a hospital for her bruises, but had no serious injuries. She said she was upset that Hopfer had accused her of selling the puppy too young and said the puppy was two days shy of 6 weeks old.
Hulsey said she later returned the $100 that Hopfer had paid for the dog.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Semen makes you happy
That's the remarkable conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don't. The study, which is bound to provoke controversy, showed that the women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina. They say they have ruled out other explanations. "I want to make it clear that we are not advocating that people abstain from using condoms," says Gordon Gallup, the psychologist at the State University of New York who led the team. "Clearly an unwanted pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease would more than offset any advantageous psychological effects of semen." The team found that depressive symptoms and suicide attempts were more common among women who used condoms regularly compared with those who didn't. The results will appear in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior. The results aren't a complete surprise because semen does contain several mood-altering hormones, including testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinising hormone, prolactin and several different prostaglandins. Some of these have been detected in a woman's blood within hours of exposure to semen. The question many people will ask is whether oral sex could have the same mood-enhancing effects. "Since the steroids in birth control pills survive the digestion process, I would assume that the same holds true for at least some of the chemicals in semen," Gallup says.
Friday, June 16, 2006
I wonder how she got so bendy?
"I'll soon get the dirt out from under this nail" thought Sarah, failing to notice Tim had just broken both her legs with a claw hammer.
What I'm REALLY interested in, however, is what she plans to do with that brown object just to the right of the chair......?
There are some things you simply shouldn't ever do......
..... and sometimes you just can't resist wondering what Satan's arse tastes like.
Mini-Mr.T wanted in connection with missing girl
Taken shortly before the stick finds itself in her cerebral cortex.
Lord almighty those are some tight jeans....
No idea what's going on here but I've never wanted to be a toilet seat so much in all my life.
Aqua-marines
Hear`s a story that appealed to my geeky childish side about exploding water. The article explains how boiling water in a microwave can be BAD!
Water Bomb
Water Bomb
Transformers: The Movie
Rumour has it that for the new live action Transformers movie, the bots themselves have moved on with the times. An example being some of the old favourites, like Jazz, swapping their old cars for new more modern ones. However, bad news is a leaked script indicates a baffling array of product placement, with some bots able to turn into iPods and Xbox 360's and even a plasma TV! Not sure I like this idea, it was bad enough in I Robot. But where the items in Big Willy's blockbuster were fairly inate, like a JVC CD player, you would expect the Transformers products to have some sort of meaning. I mean, how helpful is being able to become a 360? How can that POSSIBLY save the world?.... Unless it grows massive legs and huge guns and can pulverize a tank from 500 yards, then throw monkeys at it, give it the finger, and walk off triumphantly into the sunset.
Pocket Rocket Man
Here`s a story for ya, not sure how old it is but it nearly made me wet myself. I know it sounds a little sick but what a prick.
Cock Rocket
Cock Rocket
Water and wine education.
WATER......
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we will have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!
However, we do not run that risk when drinking WINE (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
WATER = POOP
WINE = HEALTH
It is better to drink wine and talk sh*t than to drink water and be full of sh*t.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service.
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we will have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!
However, we do not run that risk when drinking WINE (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
WATER = POOP
WINE = HEALTH
It is better to drink wine and talk sh*t than to drink water and be full of sh*t.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information; I am doing it as a public service.
Cactus Woman
From one of the best websites on the planet, Warren Ellis, comes a true story. I hope anyway because its so f*cking hilarious.
In Yerevan in the former Soviet republic of Armenia, 18-year-old girl Narine Aivasyan shocked doctors with her unusual disease. The girl complained about an abscess on her wrist that had been hurting her for a long period already. When doctors opened the bandage on Narine`s hand they saw two very thin thorns sticking out of the hand. The girl was fond of pot plants and devoted much time to looking after her plants. Once, Narine pricked herself on a cactus while watering plants. Some thorns got stuck in her wrist. The parents immediately disinfected the wound but it still festered and even expanded. Narine was reluctant to visit a doctor. She had to go to a hospital in a month when a point of a thorn emerged on the skin right on the place of the red wound. Doctors easily removed the strange object, but more thorns turned up on the same spot soon.
Head of the immunology and virology laboratory at the Armenia research center Tigran Davtyan says the world medicine has never known before that herbal cells may settle down and parasitize on the organism of a human or an animal. Deeper study of the thorns removed out of the girl`s wrist confirmed their vegetative origin. It turned out that the thorns belonged to a cactus that many people had at home.
The only way to save the girl was to perform an operation to remove the fistula to stop the cactus from parasitizing all about the organism. When researchers studied the bigger thorns they arrived at a conclusion that they were no longer of vegetative origin. As a result of mutation, the patient got new unknown cells, some sort of a hybrid of a human and a plant. In other words, the young girl was turning into a cactus!
The Adventures of Cactus Girl
In Yerevan in the former Soviet republic of Armenia, 18-year-old girl Narine Aivasyan shocked doctors with her unusual disease. The girl complained about an abscess on her wrist that had been hurting her for a long period already. When doctors opened the bandage on Narine`s hand they saw two very thin thorns sticking out of the hand. The girl was fond of pot plants and devoted much time to looking after her plants. Once, Narine pricked herself on a cactus while watering plants. Some thorns got stuck in her wrist. The parents immediately disinfected the wound but it still festered and even expanded. Narine was reluctant to visit a doctor. She had to go to a hospital in a month when a point of a thorn emerged on the skin right on the place of the red wound. Doctors easily removed the strange object, but more thorns turned up on the same spot soon.
Head of the immunology and virology laboratory at the Armenia research center Tigran Davtyan says the world medicine has never known before that herbal cells may settle down and parasitize on the organism of a human or an animal. Deeper study of the thorns removed out of the girl`s wrist confirmed their vegetative origin. It turned out that the thorns belonged to a cactus that many people had at home.
The only way to save the girl was to perform an operation to remove the fistula to stop the cactus from parasitizing all about the organism. When researchers studied the bigger thorns they arrived at a conclusion that they were no longer of vegetative origin. As a result of mutation, the patient got new unknown cells, some sort of a hybrid of a human and a plant. In other words, the young girl was turning into a cactus!
The Adventures of Cactus Girl
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Return Of The Crack Whore
Thanks to Jimbeef (He`s the monkey in the arty pic!! No he`s not gay) for that wonderful insight into our sick and twisted little worlds. Allow me, Captain Crack Whore to shed some more light onto our f**ked up lives. We both obviously enjoy writing, talking and reading obscene and random crap. Our job is extremely fulfilling, if your a lobotomised chimp, and we spend our days trying to amuse ourselves as we see fit . Come back again and again to see what we find out what sh*te we`ve come across and also perhaps a new sidekick into the world of buttery cats as another contorted fool may be joining our little clan. Please do leave info on yourselves and revel in our world of polyunsaturated monkey spreads!
The world as we see it.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "If I drop a cat on the floor, will it land buttered side up?". Maybe. But if the more curious of you are probably wondering who the hell we are. Allow me to enlighten you.
We are a pair of maniacal scientists with a love for all things weird, wonderful, amusing and just plain filthy. I myself enjoy the musings of the comic book world, teach martial arts and am a bit of a student of the orient. Crack Whore enjoys the world of cars and even engages in a spot of track racing on the odd occassion. Both of us are into films, boobs, TV, gaming and all those geeky things that keep us up well into the dark hours of this damp and dreary little corner of the planet.
I hope you enjoy your journey into our world, we'll keep you updated whenever we possibly can. Don't be afraid to interact either! Talk to us..... leave comments.... make us feel loved.
Come to our bosom. Love thy Neighbour. Butter thy cat.
X-Cat The beginning of the End!
Howdy all you cat buttering monkeys, this is the first post of many from the Crack Whore and Jimbeef. I know that it sounds like some kind of LSD crazed crime fighting duo but... your right we are. Keep your eye on this space for all kinds of crap from our opinions (which are extremely important may I add) to any new words that we hear from the street. Of course how can i forget, your opinions and feedback are nearly as important. Keep your eyes open and things will happen!!
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